Survival 101
It happened to me and this is what I asked:
What happened?
How did this happen?
Why did this happen?
What do I do now!
My Survival!
At this point in time if you have made it thus far maybe you are willing to go that extra little bit. Thats all it takes. I know at times things can become very frustrating for us but it is quite normal to fell this way. After all, if you had a TBI/ABI most likely they cut into your skull and removed the damaged vessel or aneurysm or whatever the case may be. Remember, that if this is the case there is now a foreign object in your skull. It feels pretty weird doesn't it?
My survival started with accepting the fact that something terrible just happened. I noticed people started acting differently towards me. My father who came to stay with us for a while was constantly checking in on me while I was recovering in bed. For the first few days that's all I did was lay in bed. I did not want to move, I did not want to eat, I did not want to talk much. A that time I was piecing everything together because there were allot of "fuzzy" areas that I just could not remember. I do not remember much of going to the hospital except the car ride there and opening the door to vomit while my fiancé was driving at least 60 miles per hour. How courteous of me to not get sick in the car ;-)
Everything else was just there in bits and pieces. The enamors pain I felt in my head that I felt from the bleed. I refer to that pain as the "Slurpee Effect". Have you ever drank something very cold and got the brain freeze? That is what it felt like but 100,000 times worse. I knew I was in trouble and had to get to the hospital right away. If I did not, I knew I was going to die.
The next several days where really just a blur to me. I remember the brief car drive, vomiting, taking off my shirt to somehow stop the tremendous pain, getting onto a wheel chair and then the helicopter ride. Oh and not to forget the fire in my body! That was the angiogram! I felt like the doctors lit me on fire. I for sure thought I was a goner then!
While in the hospital it continued. I remember just bits and pieces of it and not really a full day. I remember my girls and their mother coming to visit from Iowa. My dad was there, my fiancé, and of course all the doctors. So many came to visit because they had never seen such a large AVM in a person before. 4cm in length. That doesn't sound big but for being in the brain where its not supposed to be, its quite large! As far as what their names where, I haven't the faintest idea.